The Eastbourne Herald

A man has died
after being crushed
by a falling
incident.
The air ambulance attended
and is supporting
police.

Woody the Cat is on the mend
and back at home
after a vicious attack by a
thug who had his tail
cut off and covered
in manuka honey.
“Our fur baby is home.
Thanks for all the prayers
and shares”,
said Stephanie.

A sixty one year old father
has died after taking
a lethal cocktail of
ex-girlfriends
and unintentionally pushing
people away.
The confident outgoing man
had sent this text:
“It is the end”.
There will be twenty days
of temporary traffic lights
in Priory Road.
No flowers.