Brown Dwarf

The brown dwarf was quite angry

looking at his shoes

It had only been ten million years

since he’d got the news.

“There must be some mistake”, he said

“Some kind of mass delirium.

Have you not seen what I can do?

I can fuse deuterium!”

“...and that is just the kind of trick

to knock ‘em on their arse.

Surely that’s enough for us

to qualify as stars?”

The jury sneered. “‘fraid not”, they said

“You’ve got good mass, it’s true,

but to be called a proper star

there’s shit you need to do.”

“Turn hydrogen to helium

somewhere in your core.”

“Fuck helium!”, snapped the angry dwarf.

“Helium’s a bore!”

With that the brown dwarf stormed out

and stalked back to his car.

“I’ll show those fucking snobs”, he hissed

“Some day I’ll be a star!”