Tuesday, August 17, 2021

Sunday Night

It’s coming home on Sunday night,
the England team’s sacred birth-right;
our band of brothers and their ball
will triumph or close up the wall
with Italian dead. That’s right,
we’ll sate our bloody appetite
with ruined Romans. If they fight,
they’ll taste our English dynamite
so join me now in Harry’s call:

It’s coming home
to England. Just watch Ian Wright
on ITV; if things get tight
he’ll lose his shit once and for all
(though Lineker might keep his cool
on BBC) but Sunday night
it’s coming home.

What the Wind Can Do

One day I saw my father
standing naked.

The wind had carried him past
sixty eight Novembers,
through being loved,
beneath a mountain range
of esoteric books.

The wind had taught him songs,
killed his parents
when he was just a boy.

The wind had sent those witches
from Macbeth
to tell him he would never be a king
never be a useful thing
so the Earth reached out its paws
and took him as a plaything.

What can I say in revenge?
That in the awful silence
of the wind’s eye
I feel no fear?

Some days I get a funny feeling.
I’m certain we cannot know
what has been given
or taken
until a storm has passed.

Appropriation Art #02: Adam Curtis vs Daffodils

I wandered lonely as a cloud

What we think of as the ‘self’
is really just a small part of something else
hidden inside our brains

that floats on high o’er vales and hills

much larger part of the brain
that actually experiences the world outside

when all at once I saw a crowd,
but that experience makes no sense.
It is just an ongoing chaotic rush
of biochemical data

a host of golden daffodils
that flashes up and fades away.

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
fluttering and dancing in the breeze,
what humans think of as their ‘self’
is actually an accessory

continuous as the stars that shine
that tries to make sense of this
chaotic mass of incoming data
and twinkle on the Milky Way

but to do that it has to simplify
and turn that data into stories
stretched in never-ending line

that are sometimes so simplified
along the margin of a bay
that they bear little relationship
to the reality outside.

Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
It gives people the feeling that they are in control
but that is just a comforting illusion.

The waves beside them danced but they
out-did the sparkling waves in glee.
Human beings live in a simplified dreamworld

and in an age of individualism
A poet could not but be gay
when you can no longer order people about,
in such a jocund company.

I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
the only solution is to keep them in that dreamworld
and to make sure the dreamworld is safe and happy
what wealth the show to me had brought

for oft when on my couch I lie
in vacant or in pensive mood,
the idea of appealing to them rationally
and changing the world…

they flash upon that inward eye
which is the bliss of solitude

…is pointless.

and then my heart with pleasure fills
and dances with the daffodils.

Glastonbury, 1992

 What it is to walk upon a rainbow
and to find your fellows there…

Broad, mad, cider spirits
belladonna dames
acid rock magicians
lost causes and last chancers
dead dog mothers
waspish rebels
all finding the same
world under their feet
the same beat
the same beautiful, bruised universe
unpacking that same iridescent moment,
moving down into the same
wild quicksilver that lives
inside a song

sent up like arrows
from the rocky weight
of our bodies
to dance
and dance
and dance
and dance
and dance

to dance against
the blood red rose of the sun
music-blind toward a resurrection;
to burst, in that exuberant drugged love,
mouths full of hot sparks,
against a pomegranate sky.

Stories

A jealous sorcerer
creates a spider from knives
and splintered dining chairs,
sends it off to find the handsome lad
who made love to his daughter.

A little girl sitting in a parked car
waiting for her mother
until the heat of the day
pulls half a pint of whispers from her,
makes a thunderhead
to drown a city.

These are the threads we must weave
into stories.

This house withstood a wartime bomb
but could be destroyed
by a yawning child.
The fireside trembles.

Sometimes in our dreams
we open a parcel
to find ourselves within.

Wake up tomorrow morning, friends,
and tell me that story.

Ode (after O’Shaughnessy)

Are we the movers and shakers
here on this flyblown patch of ground
or just a bunch of egotists and fakers
playing in an unremarked playground?
A brotherhood of mendicant rhyme-makers
weighing up the fool’s gold that we’ve found;
a garrison of garrulous piss-takers
keeping no one but our selfish selves spellbound?

The cold truth is that while we write our ditties
real labourers are building Chinese cities;
that while you penned your tedious life story
some IT guys have soaked up all the glory.
We claim one dreaming man can change the world,
a single voice can upset any crown,
but both those lies have gradually unfurled
and all we built was this absurd ghost town.

We, with all our dreaming and our singing,
ignore the fact that we are not Shakespeare
for something in our formative upbringing
means truth’s the one thing we don’t want to hear.
Instead we’ll wallow in handwringing
and pray the audience will reappear;
we keep on writing, always vaguely clinging
to the notion that a poet knows no fear.

I hope you’re moved or shaken as you read.
I even hope you’re feeling slightly blue
What is this urge of mine? This muse? This need?
The truth is that I don’t know what to do.
Tonight I feel I should perhaps concede
I cannot change the world, a crown, or you,
but tomorrow is another day indeed
and I’m sure I’m on the verge of my breakthrough!

What’s Going on in Poetry #03

 I know it’s true that I’m not black
but let me jump in to attack
a thing you wrote a short while back
about your preference for Whitetack.

And though I’ve never had a tumour
I just heard an ugly rumour
you wrote a piece called ‘Balding Boomer’
and I don’t like that kind of humour.

And I have got some things to say
despite the fact that I’m not gay
about your poem yesterday
about the songs of Marvin Gaye.

And you wrote that limerick
about a dog who ate his stick.
Is cruelty what makes you tick?
You bloody perverts make me sick!

Yes, there is no more room for doubt.
These things I know fuck-all about
are subjects to avoid, you lout,
so I’ve come here to call you out.

I’m not a fascist. Speech is free.
I just don’t like your poetry.
It says things I don’t care to see
so please, in future, check with me.

One Shade of Grey

Try as I might, it’s hard to write
the simplest things. What’s black and white
gets rendered into neutered grey;
my notebook and my pen downplay
my sadness, madness or delight.

Each poem then becomes a fight
between the darkness and my light
and, each time, nighttime swallows day
try as I might.

I think perhaps I lack insight
and though I keep my meter tight,
I just don’t have enough to say
beyond the commonplace cliché
and so this rondeau will be trite,
try as I might.

On Sonnets

They say that sonnets are the highest art,
a form that truly plumbs the human soul;
the lion’s roar or birdsong in our heart
in fourteen lines is somehow captured whole
and yet, for me, there’s much I do not say,
those hidden truths I find I can’t reveal.
I think we poets wake up every day
with no way of expressing how we feel.

The passions and the furies of the deep,
despair that feeds itself upon our fear,
the memories that shimmer in our sleep
but will not, upon waking, reappear.

And here, again, I face the fourteenth line.
I hate myself and write that I am fine.

Apocalypse

We wake and feel our town around us,
immutable as faith, resilient
as the night sky, for the lights in Times Square
have shone forever and will not go out.

We laugh at cave art and the foolish dead
who endured darkness before the world began
for they have missed the best of everything.
Our father’s gone but mothers do not die.

And when our mother dies, we find a rock.
Inside that rock the world will never end.
We turn our backs upon the crumbling cliffs
and throw our rock into the deathless sea.

On Facebook, Notre Dame went up in flames
and languages are dying every day.
Your microwave is on the fritz again
and worms are growing fat with famous men.

Three hundred years from now, who will wake up
to sing this tuneless hymn of confidence?
The night sky will have shifted half an inch.
Whose are those hand prints on the shattered wall?

Dear Margaret

         Dear Margaret,

I just thought I’d drop you a line to remind you about Cleo’s driver’s exam. She’s very excited and could do with a bit of encouragement. I’m honestly not sure how I feel about her driving. It seems only just now she was finding her feet, cruising between dining chairs and now she’s talking about having her own car. Den just laughs and says be thankful it’s not a motorbike. I suppose that’s something.

Meanwhile, Julian seems to be enjoying Durham, has a lot of friends and has joined, I think, every club on offer. Rowing, boxing, tennis, golf. I’m not sure where he finds the time to actually study medicine!

Otherwise, we’re fine. Den fell getting out of the car in March and his knee has been worrying him ever since. Of course he won’t go to the doctor. I said it might be a fracture but Den is Den and so.

I also wanted to mention that we are all holding you responsible, personally, for the current climate crisis the planet is facing. You’ve always driven when you could have walked. You’ve had endless long-haul holidays (who goes to Chicago twice?!?), you’ve eaten a lot of out-of-season fruit and you’ve never recycled.

I know this might seem trivial to you, Maggie, but you have destroyed the fragile ecosystems of Planet Earth and I just thought it was worth mentioning that we all strongly disapprove. If I could go back in time, I’d find you in your crib and bash your skull in, you mindless cunt.

Hopefully, we might get down to Teignmouth towards the end of the summer. Den’s been quoting an Airstream renovation in Newton Abbott so we might be heading down towards you at some point. We should go to that place you mentioned where the maitre d’ does karaoke. That sounded fun.

               Love to Chris and the twins.

                                                Pat xxx

Death of a Nightingale

cat-tired, brittle-breathed
poised on the edge of his wit
the old man.

"Behold a pale horse" -
voice trapped inside a bottle
a djinn with no more wishes
his bare body steaming
in noon heat

his fingers found a cigarette
beside the lamp
and stumbling
broke it
old man

he scratched his balls
laid back across the bed
sores pushing his legs apart
each barking breath stirring
the pewees on the roof.

In measureless and soundless space
a constellation opens its vast eye
firefly systems igniting in
the periphery of vision

galaxies in cluster
the gossamer petticoat of the universe
lifting as
he moves his hand in air

The conductor fell in love
with his boy soprano,
his voice and his youth;
ached to possess that boy
who sang a note so long and tender
of such immaculate sweetness
that the universe would stop to listen
to one fixed star

even the pewees would stop to listen
the army ants would call a truce

his mother now
in her kitchen
a darkening world before the revolution
"Come in, gúirito", she whispers.

Infinite Jest

Prince Hamlet held aloft poor Yorick’s head,
considered how each life must surely end.
He knew of course the jester was long dead
yet standing in the grave of his old friend
he met a truth that no-one wants to face
and redefined himself by what he found:
that ev’ry runner in this human race
may love and laugh but ends up in the ground.

And though I am a man of finite jest,
I know I must live life on Hamlet’s terms:
laugh when you can and try not to get stressed
that one day soon we’ll all be food for worms.
Life gives us love and song but every breath
is one more breeze that blows us towards death.

Wednesday, August 04, 2021

Walking in the Woods

Out walking in the woods, I saw a monk.
He’d turned up from the thirteenth century.
I wasn’t mad. I wasn’t high or drunk
although perhaps it’s what I’d hoped to see.
It doesn’t really matter what was real.
Reality is over-rated, friend.
The greater truth is found in what you feel
and that’s what really matters in the end.

The monk himself was walking in the wood
and I suppose he felt that he saw me.
We raised our hands then silently we stood,
two saplings shielded by an old yew tree.
We stand there still, and more of us have come
to listen to the ancient forest hum.

Tuesday, August 03, 2021

Last Bus Home

I’ll never forget
the way that she kissed me,
stood in a doorway in the pissing rain.
She laughed at me
then she asked me to believe
that she wasn’t a young lady
in horrific pain.


We made it work and I would see her

every weekday night.

We’d fight and meekly make up

or we’d fuck and then we’d fight

but despite all of that making up

what went down was all wrong

and now she’s out there somewhere

in another fella’s song.


I’d miss my bus

and she would tut

don’t make a fuss

then drag me to a doorway

where she’d make it all alright

and in all the time I knew her,

I never heard her say goodbye

and if I said it to her

she would start to shake and cry.


We bared our teeth

as we shared our dreams

but gradually it got complicated

I lied to her

as she’d lie next to me

and I’d tell her the truth

should be something unstated.


It’s years ago but I still think about her

every day

and I often laugh at little things

that she would often say.

It doesn’t seem to matter

how I change or where I roam.

I’ll always think about her

when I miss my last bus home.